My Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Journey

SO! As of yesterday, I have been admitted to the Antenatal Unit at my hospital. It’s been a crazy 24 hours. Going to do a trigger warning for bleeding (but so far it’s all a positive story)

First I will start by updating that I am currently 30+6, I truly never thought I would make it this far.

I have been feeling relatively good and optimistic these past couple of weeks. I also really understood what they mean when they say ‘nesting’…I was definitely in the nesting phase. Still taking things easy but getting everything ordered, washed, and organized for when baby boy comes home. We are almost completely ready for him, just a few small things left to do…but we have enough/got enough done that we can fully properly care for him at home for the first few weeks so I feel good about that.

Yesterday morning I woke up, yet again, to pee. It was 5:30am and on my way to the washroom I felt a gush and thought ‘Shit, I think my water just broke’. When I got to the toilet I noticed that it was actually a LOT of blood. My underwear was absolutely soaked, the toilet was full, and then I passed the biggest clot I have ever passed in my life….it actually hurt coming out. I had no cramping or anything, no indication that anything was amiss except for the blood. I woke my partner up and told him we have to go to Labour & Delivery straight away…so off we went. In a crazy twist of coincidence, he had booked 10 days of vacation starting the following day (We were supposed to get married on July 30th but last month decided to post-pone the wedding until next year due to my short cervix. My partner decided to keep the 10 days off so we could have a sort of staycation Babymoon)

The entire drive to the hospital (which is 10 minutes) felt like forever. I couldn’t feel the baby moving and I was trying not to panic. From the time I woke up to the time we arrived at L&D it was maybe 30 minutes. They were expecting us as I had called them from the car. They immediately did an abdominal ultrasound and said baby is looking good and is moving around, but my amniotic fluid is on the low end of normal. Then the doctor did a speculum and manual cervical exam…both of those were THE worst and most intense pain I have ever felt. With the speculum he had to keep stopping and starting because I was in so much pain. When he manually checked with his fingers that was no better…he couldn’t properly complete that exam because I was in too much pain, he felt it was better to stop. He was able to see that my water hadn’t broken, thank goodness, but my cervix was soft and ‘somewhat’ dilated. He wasn’t able to tell by how much because he had to abandon the exam due to my pain. They then hooked me up to an NST test, and that was all normal. Everything told them I was not currently in active labour, and baby seemed fine. The doctors’ conclusion is that I’ve had a mild placental abruption. He gave me my first of two steroid shots to help quickly develop baby’s lungs (the second shot is given 24 hours later) and he said t is effective for about 14 days…that, though this is a scary situation, so far it is the best case scenario for this specific scenario. The abruption was mild, and the steroid shots are literally at the perfect week to be given them..by the time they wear off in 14 days, assuming I’m still pregnant, I will be close to 34 weeks. They don’t give the shots after 34 weeks because the lungs are almost fully developed by that point anyway.

I was then transferred up the hall where I was officially admitted to the Antenatal Unit, and given an appointment for later that afternoon with my MFM (also just up the hall). That appointment went well- baby boy looked great, my amniotic fluid was actually measuring in the normal range, and he couldn’t find any stand-out issues with my placenta. He said the clot I passed could have been part of the mild abruption, but he wasn’t seeing anything super concerning.

After that we went back to our semi-private room and the NICU doctor came to talk to us about procedures and such just incase I go into preterm labour. She said that if I were to go into labour soon, babies born at this gestational age ‘are a walk in the park for them’ especially since all of my scans and ultrasounds look good. That was reassuring, to an extent. I think I’m going to carry some level of heightened fear and anxiety until we bring baby boy home. But it was nice to know what ti expect from birth to NICU stay (that he may not cry upon birth, which is completely normal, to the fact that he may have a breathing tube and/or a feeding tube for a little while). After that I sent my partner home for a bit of a break…after all I did scare him away at 5:30am! Plus he was able to shower and grab my laptop and a few other things for me, which was nice.

Late last night we were moved to a private room right across from the nurses station- they said with high-risk cases involving bleeding they like to keep those patients as close to them as possible. Getting that private room also meant my partner could sleep on the pull out ‘husband bed’ instead of upright in a very uncomfortable looking chair, plus it was nice to have a room of our own…I can watch shows on my laptop without ear buds, and not worry about disturbing my roommate every time I have to pee (which is like 3 times an hour). I had my nightly NST which also went well…but baby boy absolute hates these tests. He kicks at the monitors strapped to my continuously, then he will move away from them causing a lot of beeping from the machine and the nurse having to readjust.

Sleep wasn’t that great (but to be honest I’ve been dealing with third trimester insomnia anyway). SO glad I brought my bluetooth white noise ear buds and sleep eye mask though, that helped me get the 5-6 hours of broken sleep that I did manage. My partner woke up in pain from the pull out bed, I told him he can sleep at home for a few nights if he wants…he deserves a good nights rest if he can get it! I was woken up at 7am to get my second steroid shot. Then breakfast came, which was MUCH better than the lunch and dinner I had yesterday.

My partner went home for a few hours- I asked him to bring back a pillow from our bed, along with my pregnancy sleep pillow in the hopes that they help me get a slightly better sleep. I’ve also got the needle in my hand for IV hook up (I forget its technical name)- that has to stay in me at all times in case I need any sort of IV ASAP…and it is super uncomfortable.

I’m currently waiting for my morning NST…I’m hoping that happens soon because I would really like to shower. I didn’t get to yesterday and I feel gross. I need a daily shower just as much as I need my morning coffee haha.

They said I could be in here for anywhere from 3-4 days or up until I give birth, whenever that happens to be. Part of me feels trapped and scared, I think because it all happened without warning so suddenly. But the other part of me is glad I am here, in the absolute best spot possible in case anything goes wrong. I would love to go home, but I think if I do I will feel super anxious being far away from doctors and nurses.

My original goal when I found out about my short cervix was to make it to 34 weeks at least. Now my new ‘big’ goal is to make it to 32 (and into the ‘moderately premature’ category)…but honestly I am happy with each day that I get through, because each day means baby boy got that much extra time in the safest place he could be as he grows. Each day he stays in me means that much less time in the NICU. Each day he stays in me means theres a better chance of being able to do skin-to-skin right after birth instead of having him whisked away in an incubator. Tomorrow I will be 31 weeks.

I don’t think this whole event is related to my short cervix, I think it is completely separate. Because I have a short cervix I think they are taking the extra precautions and such, which I appreciate.

One day at a time…